"High Quality Daily Amusement"
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen...
Internal memos about clogged toilets are amusing. Internal memos about clogged toilets at a place called " Wackenhut" even more so. Heh heh... "Wack-en-hut"... Huh huh... And, apparently you can get fired from Carnival Cruise Lines for eating microwave popcorn, because A) Getting a better microwave, or B) Not hiring idiots who don't understand how popcorn works, are apparently not options.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Are you a miserable ovoid creature?
If so, Proloxil can help. (Flash) Thanks to djaj for the link.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Computer Love
If you've ever played "The Sims", and thought "this is fun, but it needs more hardcore boinking", then " Singles: Flirt Up Your Life" might be the right game for you.
Monday, February 16, 2004
Where is the rake?
This is a cute little animation. It's kind of neat that Flsh brings animation to the masses... at least, the section of masses who are willing to spend the time creating stuff in it.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Jury Duty... again!
Someone in our government sure must like me. I have just received my fourth summons for juror service in 7 years. Fortunately, my recent, shall we say "extended stay", service will get me out of this one (just ended in September, and might actually still be going on now if I didn't leave because of the new job). But what the heck kind of random number generator are these folks using? Has anyone else been as "lucky" as I have?
For a good time... for a good time calllllll.....
The current bid, as of 1:56pm Sunday: $15,299.00. The item: 867-5309. Jenny, I got your number. I didn't think you'd mind.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
For no real reason...
President Bush's dental records. This one's for Stacey ;)
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Spam awards?
Commercials are those annoying things on TV that have evolved to create a following, to the point where there is even an awards show for the best commercials (the Cleo's). If we viewed spam in the same light, would we hate it just a little less? I get some pretty funny junk in my mailbox. Today's winner: "Get rid of that unibrow!" Some spam I get is actually quite positive. "David, you are the world's greatest!" kind of stuff. "dkoelle, have a happy day!" I don't use HTML when viewing my mail, so often, I won't even see the spammer's message (if I bother looking at the email in the first place), but instead I will see a bunch of filler words. These can be pretty funny, too. I also notice a predilection towards minerals (apatite, orthoclase, quartz) in these lists. What's the best piece of spam you ever got?
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Toilet paper gun fires bullets?
An Omaha prison inmate escaped by brandishing a fake gun made from toilet paper. A few days later, the police recognized the car that the inmate was driving, and shots were exchanged. Now, the article isn't clear on this, but I want to know... did the toilet paper gun fire those bullets? In an age where a package of airline peanuts contains the phrase, "Warning - contains peanuts" [Bootysmack.com - Grammy nominee for Best URL], don't you think the article should have been more clear on the weapon upgrade?
Friday, February 06, 2004
Your President Wants Ribs
Wow, this is an amazing transcript from the leader of the free world. I had to double, nay, triple-check that it does indeed come from www.whitehouse.gov and not The Onion. But, there you have it, it's official, and on the record... Bush wants ribs. Thanks to Kieran!
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Highlights from the day
I love NPR. You know those little musical interludes they have between segments? Well this morning, just before 9:00, they played Dr. Dre's "Deez Nuts", an old-sk00l track from his debut solo album. Without the words, of course. It was good to hear some beats drop on NPR! From the "You're saying yes and no in the same sentence" department: "My cousin isn't crazy. He wants to be free, that's how crazy he is."
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Google ad weirdness
Doing a little ego surfing, I entered my name into Google. Somehow, my name comes up in a Google AdWords sponsored link: "David Koelle / Get critical quality and experience data on current of new physicians." Jeff, Keith, Tina... your names don't have ads associated with them. Nya nya! What I want to know is, who's paying money to have someone click on a link with my name in it?? (Incidentally, there is another David Koelle out there...)
Monday, February 02, 2004
Courier font declared obsolete
In an internal memorandum distributed on Wednesday, the US State Department declared "Courier New 12" — the font and size decreed for US diplomatic documents for years — to be obsolete and unacceptable after February 1. It is to be replaced with Times New Roman 14. Farewell, our monospaced friend.
Unintentional, my ass... er... boob
Sorry, MTV. We don't buy it. Janet Jackson just HAPPENED to be trying out her star-shaped metallic pasties that day. You know, just for the heck of it. Yeah... sure.
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